life cycle

little cuts

here and there

pulling at your clothes

with nagging fingers

begging for attention

like open mouths

of baby birds

and you shush them

with your creams and salves 

and when they finally quiet down

the sun comes up

and you start all over again

 

 

 

back to school

painfully shy ten year old girl 

standing in line to get on the bus after school

wearing a wrap around skirt

in the middle of a vortex

of hysterical kids

and the wind whips up

around the shy girl holding her books 

to her chest

and her hair is a dark nimbus in the air

while the tie of her skirt is loosened

by the impetuous gusts

pulling her wrap wide open

exposing her naked thighs

and her panties

 

the wall

today i was reminded of a time when i was maybe seven and i noticed some peeling paint behind the door in the bathroom of our little apartment

i dont know why i was so intrigued by it but i was and i got up from the toilet pulling up my shorts and stood behind the door staring at the little blank spot on the wall where a piece of paint had chipped off

it was mesmerizing to me the way the paint flapped up around the edges it made my mouth water and i knew i shouldnt but i slipped my fingernail underneath one of the edges and pulled at it so gently like discovering a treasure and my mouth was full of drool

i peeled that chip of paint off and thought its tiny no one will notice and maybe no one will notice a little more paint peeled and slid my fingernail underneath another beckoning edge

i felt like i lost time like i was hypnotized and i came to and saw the beautiful bare spot where the paint so eagerly fell from and i smile at it standing there in a pile of pale blue petals

just as i was realizing i must have been there for awhile the door opened with me between it and the thankful wall and my mother said my name not seeing me at first then looking behind the door at me

i was given the evil disdained look and the what do you think youre doing pushed between clenched teeth

lets go tell jessie what you did go ahead tell him and i said i peeled paint off the wall you did what where and i was made to show him where i tried to help the wall escape and his eyes were wide at at the work id done my mom behind us with her indignant arms folded

why did you do this jessie begged and i thought this is worse than i imagined

she needs her ass spanked with a belt my mom said and she went out the front door

time   slowed   down

me standing at the edge of the bed that was there in the only room we had aside from the bathroom with its door wide open like a staring eye and the sound of jessies belt hissing through his belt loops

better pull your shorts down he said and your panties too and he looked high like elated like a religious experience like euphoric and he wrapped the belt around his hand two times or three and everything was moving so slowly

bend over the bed sweetie ill try not to make it hurt and i laid on the bed bent at the waist with my bare ass exposed and waited

and waited while he filled his eyes with the sight of me like an offering and i heard him inhale the word god right before the first welt was raised

draft

i miss everything

like

splayed fingers

of  palm

trees 

and

hearing

my name

i miss

basking

on the 

pavement

like im

a snake

and i miss

hopping 

through the grass

i miss

 

afternoon love affair

the summer grass

is tall as a fence 

around our bodies

and our fingers flirt 

from our arms length distance.

we stare straight up at the clouds

like a movie screen

and we laugh

like electricity

when low rumbles

creep up our spines.

raindrops

make their coy debut

and hurry faster at our applause

landing on every inch of our skin

like kisses of long lost lovers